Smells Like Teen Spirit

It's official -- Ryan has instantly morphed from toddler to teenager. Having been a middle school teacher in my former life, I know all the warning signs: mood swings, seclusion, defiance, a "know-it-all" attitude. Trust me, folks, they are all there, and they have been emerging in full force this week. Take, for instance, yesterday when at the library Ryan stuck her tongue out at me 3 times while at story time -- in front of all the other parents, who subsequently looked at me to see what I would do. I swear, it was like a tennis match). This tongue wagging was not a game we were playing -- it was in response to my insisting she sit down and stop climbing on top of the other children. Or, consider her now-predictable response of, "Fine! I'm going to my room and I'm never coming out!" every time she doesn't get her way. Then there is the always fun blatant disregard for anything I tell her to (or not to) do. Typical responses from her are "No.", "I'm not!", "You are a Stinky-Butt!!" or "Okay, Mommy..hee hee"(this said as she continues doing the thing I've told her not to do). All the while, keeping solid eye contact with me -- never waivering. I'm telling you, the kid has cajones.

I especially LOVE how she has taken to instructing me on what I should/should not be doing (this is that "know-it-all" thing I was talking about). Last night, after I'd come home from a long meeting and had read her a story, sang her a song, and tucked her in, she enters my bathroom and berates me for being up. "You're supposed to be in bed, Mom. You're not supposed to be looking at your 'old lines' (Ryan-speak for wrinkles)". Or how about when I get on to her for something and she calls Shawn to tell him that I am being mean and yelling at her (who, me?). The funny part is that she demands that he do something about it! She loves to turn off the tv as I'm watching it, telling me that if I want to watch, I have to give her a ticket.

But by far the best are her MOOD SWINGS. Now, I have no idea where she gets these from, but man do they suck. Like yesterday, she spent most of the day refusing to let me help her with the potty. That is, until about 4:30pm -- at the exact moment that I was trying to answer the phone and put away groceries. Then she wanted help. And lucky for me, she let me know not by asking, but by whining - can't get enough of that!! Since the day had been on a downward spiral since, oh, 7 am, I was at the breaking point, so I turned to her, and in the most monster-like voice you have ever heard, I yelled at her to just go to the bathroom!! I then continued to rant about how she was a big girl, she'd been going alone all day, etc, etc, etc. She responded by peeing all over herself, the floor, and her brand-new suede boots. Lovely. What's more, my neighbor got to hear my excellent mothering skills word-for-word, as she was sitting right outside and the front door was open. Perfect. (BTW, thanks for the offer of a hug, Elisa -- however did you know??) Oh, for the days of the "terrible two's"....they grow up so fast, don't they?? :)

P.S. So you think I'm over-exaggerating this whole teenager thing? Well, guess what her new favorite past-time is? Laying on the floor next to her radio and listening to "her music". Love It!!!