A 21st Century Fairytale

Am having such a hard time writing right now. Astros up in the 6th inning, but Pujols is coming up, so bah. hum bug. How did I become so wrapped up in this pasttime?? Ooohhh, that's right. I'm married. To a man. A man who lives and dies with the 'stros. Lives. and DIES. Tomorrow is 4 yr anniversary -- would like to have a nice time, so please please please God, please let them win. please?

Played with Ryan's castle blocks today. Went something like this:

"Mommy, let's pretend this Dragon I'm holding is Maleficent, and this Princess I'm holding is Sleeping Beauty. You be everybody else. Now try to kill Maleficent." **Note to self -- must research 3 yr old obsession w/death/killing/dead. Is it common, or just ours???

Me: "Okay" (groan).
Me: (Now playing the horse) "Oh, Maleficent here I come -- I will stop you and rescue Sleeping Beauty!!!" (Thank you; former drama teacher here -- don't feel inferior, I've been trained.)

Ryan hits my horse with the Dragon.
Me: "oh, I've been burned, aaahhhh.."

Ryan: (giggles)

Me as Knight: I will stop you Maleficent!! You are no match for my sword!!"

Ryan hits my Knight with the Dragon. Me: "Oh, I've been burned!! aaahhhhh"

Again, Ryan in hysterics.

This continues pretty much the same way with me as Prince Phillip, the King, the Mother, and the Good Wizard.

Finally, tard-o here catches on and confronts the puppeteer.
Me: "Ry, it's no fun if someone doesn't get to kill Maleficent and save Sleeping Beauty."

Ryan: (exasperated sigh) "No, Mom. Sleeping Beauty is going to save herself."

Oh. My. God. We must be the greatest parents in the world. Our 3 yr old is a modern, liberated woman, and we haven't even begun to touch on that whole equality thing. Hell, we're only just now trying to figure out how to explain the fundamental difference between her and her brother. (I will not use the words penis or vagina in any conversation of any kind with my child. never. you can't make me.)

Me: (gushing with pride) "Oh... cool." Must act nonchalant, for fear she may figure out that it's usually the other way around, and so be tempted to reverse her thinking. Plus, if she sees me get excited about something she does, she'll purposely start doing the opposite. It's that teenage thing again.

Ryan: (as SB) "Oh, family! I'm back, it's okay. I made it."

Me: (as Pr. Phillip) "Sleeping Beauty! I'm so glad to see you! Come kiss me my love!!"

Ryan: "Ooh! No, I love my Mom and Dad. I don't want to dance with you, I want to dance with my Daddy."

*my heart breaking with joy*

Then, of course, the moment comes to a crashing end as she grabs her giant Talking Dora doll and "kills" SB and fam. Oh, c'mon - what'd you expect???

Jax update: Still rattling, no sleep. He hates me, and I can't blame him. You wouldn't like me much either if every time you saw me I was wielding: a. bulb aspirator to suck the snot out of your nose; b. thermometer to stick up your butthole; c. freaky mask-thing to force over your face for 20 straight minutes. BTW, my Halloween costume idea has changed for him. Now I'm thinking: Darth Vader???

POST CORRECTION: I have been informed by Menana that I have the '85 BK Fiasco story all wrong. Apparently, she was upset because they had kept us waiting in the drive-thru, taking "forever and a day" to get our order down, during 104 degree heat. The girls and I were in agony, so clearly she needed to say something. Any good mother would. (Did I get it right, Mom?)

~quote of the day~
Shawn: "Um, Amy, could you um, maybe... clean our toilet? It's starting to smell kinda funny."