Thursday, May 25, 2006

Mother's-Of-The-Year Unite

Am I the only person in the world who feels just a little sorry for Britney Spears?

I mean, c'mon, kids, parenting isn't the easiest gig around to begin with, but can you even imagine what it would be like to do it before millions of glaring eyes, on you like a hawk, waiting for you to make one.false.move. (like, you know, giving the baby a swig of beer or something, or putting a little of the Johnny in the bottle for a midnight tottie). What? She hasn't done that yet? heh. Just wait.

Who in their parental mind has never struggled with harnessing your kid in those goddammed baby seats, only to worry that the purple bulges of baby flesh spilling from beneath the safety belts may in fact signal too much tightness, but being too afraid to loosen them, because even as they are, you can kinda fit your pinky under the belt, and that's not supposed to happen, but we'll just cover it with a blanket and not say anything...

Who wouldn't have trouble walking straight while carrying that hideous orange baseball hat hiding a baby; worried that maybe, just maybe, your bra and panties are hanging out for all these photogs to see? Not to mention, her handlers haven't exactly helped by creating that nice little obstacle course for her to follow. PLUS, those jelly-wedge-espadrilles are a bitch to walk in even without all the rigamaroo (see, maybe barefeet wasn't such a bad idea).

And let's not forget the trials of enduring post-partum depression while pregnant and supporting a grease-monkey baby factory. Christ on a cracker, the girl should be a candidate for Sainthood.

That, or I am TOTALLY way more in the running for MOTY than I'd originally thought.

Happy Birthday Day Lea-Lea!!

3 comments:

Lisa said...

I agree, I feel very sorry for her. I mean how many women have fell down steps with their kid, or anything else like that. I think they should just leave her alone. She has enough on her plate.

Crazy Rockin' Foxy Mama said...

Seriously. She's scheduled for a breakdown any day now.

J said...

I have to agree.