Let's just wrap us in a petri dish and call it a day

Ryan's rash has reached new levels of monstrosity. 4 docs and none of them are sure what the hell she's got, although they were kind enough to point out that the small red spots above her lips could signal a low platelet count. Cause apparently my eye isn't twitching quite fast enough..

That led us to have her blood drawn for a CBC, which I'm thinking was the closest I will ever come to the WWE. 3 nurses and me, and we still weren't entirely able to keep the kid down. They had to shut the door because she was scaring the other (adult) patients in the waiting room. I, of course, was not at all surprised, but you shoulda seen the nurses when we were through, slapping each other on the back, wiping the sweat from their brows...some people are just sooo sissified.

ENT appointment was yesterday, and I'm sure you will all be none too shocked to hear that Ry has an infection in her OTHER ear now, which means (drum roll, please...) NEW TUBES!!!! Mark your calendars, kids. We're having a "Good Luck With That One" party for the surgeons next weekend.

In related news, when they did Jax's follow-up hearing test, the audiologist was a tad baffled.

Her: "It seems like he's hearing better. In fact, his reactions were not only normal, they were supremely normal (I'll take OXYMORON for 1000, Alex). Most kids have huge reactions to the lights and sounds, but while he did react, it was more of a cursory nod of the head, shoulder shrug, slight grin kinda thing. Is he typically so laid back?"

Me: "Have you met his father?"

So now I'm off to check on this small solid mass that has just formed in the corner of my eye, causing me mild-to-severe discomfort, while I await Ryan's CBC results.

I can just see you all turning green with envy.