Was just on the phone with Lea, having fed the kids, straightened the kitchen and set them to playing, when lo and behold, Ryan comes in shouting, "Mommy! Someone did a BIG poopoo in the potty and now it's splashing all over!!"
Me:"Ry, is this real or pretend?"
Lea: (Snorting with laughter)
Ry: "It's real Mommy, and it's everywhere!"
Me: "There's poop everywhere?"
Lea: "Okaaay, I'm gonna go ahead and let you go..."
Ry: "Well, see I kinda had an accident, and now the big poopoo is splashing everywhere.
Me: *sighing, as I struggle to get out of chair* "Okay, I'm coming -- stay out of the splashing poopoo."
Shit. Shit shit shit. Shit water, to be precise. Curse this beautiful 20 yr old house with it's great big oak trees and shitty, leaky, uuber-clogging toilets...damn, why couldn't I have settled for brand new with a postage stamp yard? why why why???
Normally I would get on my hands and knees and wipe it up, but not with the crutches -- I almost killed myself in the hall just now (Ryan left a nice little peepee trail for me to follow -- isn't that sweet?). So I've just kinda laid a bunch of towels down to soak it up for now. Ninny is supposed to come over to spend the night tonight. I'm sure she'll be happy to take care of it for me. (pause) Hope she doesn't read this first.
If I didn't need those painkillers earlier, I sure do now.
Like a waterfall in slow motion, Part One
1 year ago
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