Leave it to Oprah...

...to bring my worst nightmare to the screaming masses.

In an effort to make amends with myself and my issues, so as to avoid having to watch Ryan battle those same evils, I worked out a little something here.

Basically, what I want Ry to know is this:

Mommy loves herself, no matter how many self-deprecating jokes I make, no matter how many times I gaze "secretly" in the mirror with dread and disappointment, I love who I am because I helped make you and your brother. You guys are so wholly amazing that there is no way that anyone less than wonderful could have conceived you. I know that I had a lot of help from your pop, but I was there, too, and dammit, I deserve a little credit as well.

While I know that I'm not the perfect example of shining self-esteem, I am eased in knowing that God took this knowledge and created your grandmother and aunts; 3 awesome, strong, gorgeous women whom I hope you will spend time looking up to in the same manner that I'm frighteningly certain you will look up to me.

Not one of us is perfect, and we all bear scars of some nature, but we love and we laugh and we live and at the end of the day that's all you can do.

I love you just the way you are, tiny heiny and all.