I was THIS close

As I was making my bed earlier this evening, I caught myself thinking what a boring entry today would make -- great productive day, pretty low-key, but lots of stuff got done (school supplies purchased, house cleaned, sheets line-dried), when lo and behold I grab the comforter to put it on the bed only to find that Lola had peed on it, not 5 minutes after I took her outside to do that very thing.

She's such a bitch.

I Have the Sunday Blah's

(or, the just- finished- a- mad-dash- week blah's. either will do.)

We really did have a great time at VBS last week, but it threw everything else totallly off, which left me scrambling to clean our filthy, filthy home Friday afternoon just in time for Shawn's Dad to arrive and for me to start finishing a 100% hand-sewn Tooth Fairy pillow for one of Ryan's friend's birthday gifts. For a party that was Saturday. At the same time as another party, the gift for which I also had not picked out or wrapped. That's how we do things at CrazyLand. It makes everything more fun.

So anyway, I did finish everything off, we were only late to the first party by 20 minutes, and Ryan even begged me to let her stay at the 2nd party alone. I'd been granted a reprieve, as Shawn and Dana took Jax to a jumping place, so I took my solitary hour to head home and make another gift for Jeff whose party we were going to that night. Phew. Popularity really has it's pitfalls.

So anyway, I spent this entire day in my house, in my pj's watching the "My Boy's" marathon on TBS (new season starts tomorrow!!) and intermittenly eating, napping or reading. I love days like these, mostly because they are so so few and far between. Jax and Shawn are happily on board, as well, as long as we keep a continuous loop of Mickey on the other tv for Jax and I let Shawn snooze undisturbed. It's Ryan who the blowhard, but I'm doing my Mommy best to make it up with a Girl's Night tonight.

Wonder if she'd be interested in a long, hot bath and then some quiet reading time??

Who's A Lucky Mommy?

Today was spent flip-flopping between listening to Jax repeat the same question 14 times at 12 different intervals and laughing at Ryan, who was busy taking advantage of the stormy weather, screaming and running to the back door, banging on it and calling, "Madame, please may we come in? We are poor orphanages."

It was a good day.

Calling All Readers!!

Since the entire week thus far has consisted of a pain-free VBS and a mounting load of housework, I don't have anything funny for you -- but YOU can help ME instead! WAHOO!! (Sorry..VBS creeping in and all..)

Anyway, our pal Mindy has just launched a cute new site and I can't wait to send in a quote -- I just don't know which one to send! It's gotta be good, 'cause I'll probably only do this once, so I'm gonna let you guys pick for me!!

Feel free to reminisce over a favorite QOTD or entry, or just check out our archives and then email me or comment on what quote you think I should send in. I'll post the winning quote next Monday, and I'll send whoever helps me select it BIG PROPS!! I know, I know -- I'm very gracious that way.

Let me know if you send in one of your own kid's quotes so we can all scourge the site to find it.

Happy Hunting!!

What We Did on our Ya Ya Vacation

So, yes, it was a vacation, and we had a great time! The car ride to Port Neches is OH SO LONG, but that's what God gave us dvd players and iPod's for -- I'm pretty sure that was the 6th day. (I'll double check with my VBS colleaugues tomorrow.)



My Honey turned 78 on Saturday, and she could not take her eyes off of Jax. I think she was only really with him 1 or 2 times before she really went downhill. He was a little apprehensive, glued to the wall, with a furrowed brow and a sharp scream anytime we tried to pry him away, but we did manage to get him to give her a kiss right before he went running down the hall of the nursing home, screaming like a banshee, and jetted straight to the big administration desk-area, where he hid under the counter and made me get on my hands and knees to dig him out. You wouldn't believe how fast those employees appeared to watch the spectacle.



Then we graced some of the residents by hanging out with 'em during their smoke break. One man was literally half a body -- he literally sits on his ribs. But my kids were awesome. I was worried Ryan would let some innocent question slip, but she didn't, she talked with them and laughed with them, and Jax put on a show, giving high-fives and hugs all around. Of course, Pappy is there all the time, plays regularly there with his band and is the most genial person you will ever meet, so being his great-grandchildren certainly helped.



The rest of the visit was spent eating and playing, with Jaxson rousing everyone everywhere we went with shouts and yells. I really hate when other people laugh at this. Don't you know you're making it worse? Then again, I think I do prefer it to people like the woman who glared at him, then at me, and then turned her back to us. That wasn't nice.



At one point, I overheard Pappy describing Jax as "A Holy Terror". Coming from the man who won his wife by knocking out her high school boyfriend (it was self-defense) and later, after several other boys claimed to be the one who did it, simply told her, "I'm the Real McCoy" , that's saying a lot. (Don't you just love that story?)



Anyway, We headed on to Galveston on Saturday, but not before we stopped and bought the last Harry Potter book. (Which Pappy bought for Ryan, who couldn't get her hands on it until this morning, seeing as how I was glued to it until 11:30 last night. I told you I'm a nerd. Btw -- Well Done, JK!!)



The kids were thrilled to ride the ferry, and even more excited to feed the seagulls. We took a 3hr nap, went swimming at the hotel pool and met a whole family from Louisiana who is likely related to us, based on how similar Ryan and the little girl behaved -- think Disney on Ice, the Late July Outdoor Edition , ate lobster and cheesecake at Landry's (where Jax persisted in his way, throwing his napkin onto the patio's surrounding hedges. Repeatedly.), and we watch the Rainforest Cafe's Volcano explode. It was the best night.

The next morning we actually let the kids eat INSIDE the Rainforest Cafe (as opposed to the peering-in-like-beggars route we took the previous night), and they ate it up. Ryan couldn't get enough of the automated jungle animals, and though Jax was extremely apprehensive (staying glued to his seat, brows furrowed, shouting should you attempt to move him -- much like Nursing Home Jax), but did eat A LOT of food.

At one point, Ryan was sitting on a ledge, posing for a picture in front of the elephants when the Baby Elephant's trunk moved and nudged her backside.

She quickly looked at Menana wielding the camera and commanded, "Hurry."

So anyway, now we're home and while I've been writing this, Ryan has been having a long conversation with the plumber about God and Rahab and the soldiers and Jericho and Joshua and who only knows what, and Jax has emerged from his nap, exited his room, and has proceeded to hug the guy.

I'm not sure what that means, but the plumber was floored.

I'll have photos once Menana sends them. *guilt, guilt, guilt -- very Ya Ya**

We're goin' on VACAY!!

And it couldn't come at a better time. What with the week we've been having...Jax's monumental tantrums at every store he's been to this week (you know, the kind where strangers approach offering him candy just to get him to shut it -- I'll be venting about that later), Jax pouring out the contents of our coffee can into Lola's water bowl (maybe he knew she had a long night?), Ryan's mood swings, and my late nights staying up hand crafting presents and cards for the gazillion people we know whose birthdays fall in July -- it got so bad last night that I ended up setting the coffee maker for Shawn this morning, and forgot to add the water. Plus, we've been operating with only one working toilet this week, and I forgot and used a wrong one last night, so I really need to vamoose before Shawn finds out.

Like I said, a few days away should do us some good. Or do us in. Either way, it'll be exciting.

South East Texas, here we come!!!

We've Been Bitten...

...by the CRAFT BUG!!!

While I've been busy here, Ryan's been making all sorts of animals for her clay menagerie.

Once I master my Photoshop Elements, we'll have a lovely stop-motion film for you to view.

*I can hear you all moving to the edge of your seats*

Meanwhile, here's what Jax's been doing between bouts of temper tantrums: Ahh, the joy that is newly opened all-natural organic peanut butter on whole wheat....

F&@*IN' FRUIT FLIES

aaarrrrggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

That's all.

Who would play Curly and Moe?

The weekend was completely bland, seeing as how my stomach was on the blitz and all. I missed my buddy Angie's birthday celebration, the one we've been planning for you know, weeks, and spent a lot of time on the couch or in the bathroom.

Saturday was a dud, but I did manage to get up long enough to accompany Shawn and the kids to Ratatouille, and am happy to say that we finally made it through an entire movie with Jax in tow. Not a common occurrence as most of you know. Then it was back home and straight to the couch, where I stayed while Shawn scrambled to figure out what to serve for dinner. Have I mentioned how nice it's been having him home?

Yesterday picked up a little, and I was all set to fix our fave Mini-Meatloaves with Mashed Potatoes. Jax had different ideas, twisting the oven knob up a hundred degrees behind my back, leaving me to greet nice and black meatloaves when the timer went off. This sent me running to the store to get a rotisserie chicken, whose hot juices I spilled on my leg, rendering me dripping and limping to the checkout lines.

That's me: Shep, reincarnated.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANG!!!!!

Start Your Engines!!

Busy, Busy

Here's what Jax was doing this morning while I was paying bills:

Lola, the dog, aka: #ncp8

Just another day in paradise...

I've heard garlic works well, too...

I'm on the meal ministry at our church and took dinner over to a parishioner tonight who's just started chemo. I went inside and dropped off the meal while Shawn and the kids waited in the car. When I got back, Ryan was all 20 questions, wanting to know names, decor details, etc... I told them what the woman had said, that she hadn't started to feel the effects of the chemo yet, and that she was "keeping her fingers crossed" that it would stay that way.

Later we went on to a food tasting, after which I came home feeling a little queasy. As I lay on the couch, tongue hanging, pants unzipped, Ry kissed me goodnight and patted my head, gave me a knowing nod and said, "I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you, Mommy", and then proceeded to hold up each of her index fingers, making the sign of the cross, much like we use to fend off vampires.

The way I'm feeling, it just might work.

Seriously?

You know how when kids are young and you tell them to stop doing something, so they hurry up and finish doing it real fast before you can get it away from them, or reach out to beat them..or whatever?

Yeah, well, Jax has taken the technique to a new level. Now, when we're at the store and he happens to escape my grasp long enough to grab a bag of candy, when I tell him "No, put it back," he quickly rips it open, thus leaving me obligated to buy them.

I guess it wouldn't be so bad if he'd at least grab the good stuff. What the hell am I gonna do with a pound of orange circus peanuts?

Sad State of Affairs

Let's all bow our heads as we mourn the passing of youth and vitality from the York household.

Not only has Shawn just recovered from an 80 yr-old's disease, but now the children are suffering as well.

It being 95 degrees with no rain, coupled with the fact that I am in the midst of my annual summer reading of "Divine Secrets", I was feeling inspired by Vivi and the girls, so I set up the sprinkler in the front yard, squeezed my just-arrived-home-from-Menana's-kids into their bathing suits, and away we went.

That was the plan, anyway. What actualy happened went something like this:

Me: "Okay guys! The sprinkler is up, have fun!"

Ryan: "Why can't we just go to the pool? The pool is more funner, you know."

Me: "I know, but Mommy has a sinus infection and it's kinda hard for me to play with both of you by myself at the pool, so let's just try this, okay?"

Jax: " Smimming, Mommy! Smimming!!"

Me: "Yeah, bud. This is swimming, just above ground. Try it, you guys. It's fun -- Mommy and Daddy used to play in the sprinkler all the time when we were kids."

Ryan: "But it's cold."

Me: "It's supposed to be cold, Ry. It's 95 degrees out -- PLAY IN THE FRICKIN' WATER."

Ryan: "But it'll get in my eyes."

Me: "Christ. Watch me. (running through the sprinkler, fully clothed) See? Look how fun!"

Gamely, Ryan tries to attack the spray of water, but only makes it halfway before it "gets in her eyes" and she bails, screaming. Jax tries, too, but quickly decides he doesn't like it and goes off to hit the dog with his plastic bat.

Meanwhile, I'm left dripping, dragging out all the pool toys, trying hard as possible to bribe my kids to play in the sprinker. If I could have turned the water to lemonade to get them in it, I would have. As it was, this is how it turned out:

Okay, so Shawn had his cataract surgery today. He's doing fine and is recovering nicely in the eery silence that is our home without children. I'm not sure how many more movies I can watch, but I'll do my best. I should be cleaning, but that wouldn't really be staying true to my personal constitution, now would it?

Got Rain?

This raining for 3 weeks straight is starting to get under my skin. For the love of Noah -- enough already.



As gloomy as I have become over the weather, I did try to pick up the mood for our Fourth of July "party". Usually we spend the 4th at the Lake. Usually Shawn has to work, but usually that isn't such a big deal, either -- not that we don't miss him, but that we've just grown used to it. He always makes it in time for the fireworks, so all is not lost.



But this time, this time, was different. This time I was home alone with the natives, and the natives were restless.



Like I said, this rain sucks.



We'd been letting them jump on our blow-up mattress for the past 2 weeks, alternating its purpose between being a trampoline, slide, bed, and breakfast table. No holds barred when it rains, people. I'll do anything to keep them busy and happy for as long as possible. Or out of my way, anyway.


I rose to the occasion as always, covering the house here and there with red white and blue streamers, flags, etc... We filled balloons with confetti so the kids could have indoor "fireworks", I made bunches and bunches of patriotic cupcakes, and sat and waited for everyone to arrive. And waited and waited.

I didn't so much mind the wait -- there was an all-day documentary on the The Revolution showing on the HIstory channel that I watched and found fascinating, thank you very much. The kids, not so much.

Eventually the rest of the calvary arrived, we ate, drank, popped some balloons, and ate some more. Then everyone went home and we went to bed.


Since then, it's been more rain, though yesterday the sun did stay out long enough for us to hit the pool, and today I managed to pull the 3-ft-high weeds from the beds in the backyard.

Sorry about the delay in the post -- it took forever for us to find the camera, and for once i was determined to add pics to an entry!

Somewhere Deep Down, I've Always Known

My subconscious has a wicked sense of humor. All my life I've insisted I have intuitive powers -- none that can be demonstrated, but I'm always right there ready to predict something, just in case. One day I'll be right, and then all you nay-sayers will have to eat crow.

Like my high school friends, who pay no mind to my warnings to take care, after I've had a horrible dream involving them and heavy machinery. Or my friend Renee, whom I've spent countless years bestowing my predictions and warnings upon, only to end up having it kick me in my own ass.

I had called her about a week and a half ago just to chat, and got voicemail. Since I didn't leave a message, and since she is an avid reader of le blog and saw that I was no longer on Prozac, she immediately assumed I was preggers, and left me a message declaring just that. Since I was late, I had to wait until I did start (whew!) to call her back, afraid to jinx myself and prove her right. This is what I do. I don't claim "crazy" for nothin', y'all.

Anyway, last night Shawn and I got into it after he arrived home from doing inventory at 2:45 am. The man keeps leaving earlier and earlier so he can get it done earlier, and yet keeps getting home later and later. Rolling over and falling asleep fuming, I ended up dreaming that I got shot and was dying, begging him to tell me the truth -- was he cheating on me, and did he ever really love me? His reply?

"I've been seeing Juan for quite some time now, Amy. I'm a homosexual. Please don't tell anyone." Ha! My subconscious' idea of revenge!! (or, it could just be that we've been talking about that subject alot lately, given Jax's affinity for dress-up clothes and Barbies, and my affinity for teaching him to say 'I'm a pretty, pretty princess'. Whatever, it was funny in my dreams, and even funnier when I told him about it this morning, though he didn't really laugh.

*disclaimer: my husband is very manly, very athletic and very very straight. Not that it matters.*