Sad State of Affairs

Let's all bow our heads as we mourn the passing of youth and vitality from the York household.

Not only has Shawn just recovered from an 80 yr-old's disease, but now the children are suffering as well.

It being 95 degrees with no rain, coupled with the fact that I am in the midst of my annual summer reading of "Divine Secrets", I was feeling inspired by Vivi and the girls, so I set up the sprinkler in the front yard, squeezed my just-arrived-home-from-Menana's-kids into their bathing suits, and away we went.

That was the plan, anyway. What actualy happened went something like this:

Me: "Okay guys! The sprinkler is up, have fun!"

Ryan: "Why can't we just go to the pool? The pool is more funner, you know."

Me: "I know, but Mommy has a sinus infection and it's kinda hard for me to play with both of you by myself at the pool, so let's just try this, okay?"

Jax: " Smimming, Mommy! Smimming!!"

Me: "Yeah, bud. This is swimming, just above ground. Try it, you guys. It's fun -- Mommy and Daddy used to play in the sprinkler all the time when we were kids."

Ryan: "But it's cold."

Me: "It's supposed to be cold, Ry. It's 95 degrees out -- PLAY IN THE FRICKIN' WATER."

Ryan: "But it'll get in my eyes."

Me: "Christ. Watch me. (running through the sprinkler, fully clothed) See? Look how fun!"

Gamely, Ryan tries to attack the spray of water, but only makes it halfway before it "gets in her eyes" and she bails, screaming. Jax tries, too, but quickly decides he doesn't like it and goes off to hit the dog with his plastic bat.

Meanwhile, I'm left dripping, dragging out all the pool toys, trying hard as possible to bribe my kids to play in the sprinker. If I could have turned the water to lemonade to get them in it, I would have. As it was, this is how it turned out: