Making Amends

So I have this friend from Back Home, who as a girl was known to cause me to crap myself and crumple my self-esteem just with a glance. Supposedly, she never knew her looks could kill, but one can never be too sure.... Anyway, I love her very much, mostly because she's just as silly as me, but also for all those other hearts and rainbows and lovey reasons we all love our friends. So imagine my surprise when I heard she was (gasp!) embarrassed by a hilarious picture of her I posted on my Facebook page (cringing as I type that) from Shah's wedding last weekend. Of course, she says her protests and "HOOKER" catcalls were all in good fun, but she mixed guilt with a Catholic, and I will not let the matter die without full flogging of myself for all the internet to see. Not that anyone other than my mom and a couple of my friends who've seen me look much worse will read this, but I feel gratified anyway.

So Kellie, this one's for you:



You touched a nerve with the "hooker" bit, so I thought I'd show you just what a hooker I can (could, was) be. Pre-reduction, pre-highlights, this was me as "Angel" from Best Little Whorehouse, my first and only role on the Mainstage, but one nobody will ever let me forget. (Especially not Ninny, who calls me every.single.time. she hears "Hard Candy Christmas" on the radio.) Anyway, there you go, pretty embarrassing, no? Although you could say it doesn't really count, since I was dressed for a part, so here's another one...

I'm not sure what part of this picture is the most horrifying -- the face, the bangs, or the copper lipstick. Either way, it's bad. Bad bad bad. But again, perhaps you don't think this picture suffices, having been taken over 13 years ago, so I've got one more for ya, taken just last year:

Me as Shawn last Halloween. This is the best I've got (for now) but I'm sure if you wait a few days I'll find more. And yes, he will make me pay for posting this pic of him, so now I'm doubly punished.

There. Now. The slate is clean, I've absolved myself of my sins, and I'm off to devour my humiliation by way of a nice big box of Thin Mints.

Wurstfest 2008

And this is just the g-rated fun we had. Too bad you'll never see the clip of me swinging my arms and yelling/singing, "I LOVE TO POLKA!" I'm saving that for a special night with my special man, if ya know what I mean (and I think ya do).

Trail's End

Yesterday my friend Jill and I took the kids to Trail's End Equestrian Center in Leander to feed the horses there. It's owned by our Psycho Spin Instructor Ben and his wife Kerri, and we've been talking about going for months now, but as is usually the case, one thing or another always comes up -- until now!



Their ranch is amazing -- set deep in a canyon in the hill country, just 20 minutes from our house, the view is spectactular, the horses were gorgeous, and my resolve to live on some real expanse of land and own a horse was definitely reinforced.



They use the Parelli method of training the horses and use no saddles, reins, or anything. You can totally tell how calm and gentle they are with the horses, especially as Jax was spinning and running and yelling and jumping, even grabbing a tail or two, and not one kick or whinny did he receive. Those horses could teach Ryan a thing or two about ignoring her brother...


Here's Crazy Ben, who though surely mentally imbalanced when it comes to spinning, is actually quite tame and normal when his horses are around.


This is him playing and doing tricks with two of the horses -- they climb stairs, play with exercise balls, run figure eights -- all without him touching or talking to them. He just uses his body to signal what he wants them to and they DO IT! (**Note to self: must find Parelli training method for children...)



The kids were so excited, and had such a good time, that it took massive effort on our parts to get them back in the cars, but seeing as how Crazy Ben was about to start building the foundation for a hay barn, we thought it best to get out of the way before he put us to work. You never know with that one.


And this? Well this is just a pic of Ryan Bingham from his show a couple of weeks ago. Just thought you might like to see it. You can thank me later.

Random Video Friday

Sorry, I'd stay and chat, but Jax just poured a bottle of parmesan cheese into his mouth and half of it ended up on the floor. Gotta go!

Fun Fleamarket Find

So, I'm not sure when this little jewel was actually made, although I'm guessing...80's? Did they even have battery-operated cars in the 70's? How about battery-operated cars complete with hydraulics, flashing lights and accompanying Mariachi music?

Whenever it was made, it was totally worth the $4 I paid at last weekend's Fredericksburg Trade Days. Jax hasn't stopped playing with it, and although the noise is a little distracting, can anyone really ever hear too much Mariachi music? I mean, really?

Knitting for Peace

Well, I'd planned on showing a random 5 min video clip from yesterday that made me laugh, but it's still"processing", which it has been doing for over 8 hours now. For 5 min of footage. That's correct. It's been "processing" "99%" of 5 minutes of video for over 8 hours. It's been a great excuse to practice my breathing. And my sighing, grunting, and growling.



So rather than postpone the next post until next week (by when I'm sure it would be done "processing"...um, right?), I thought I'd just pop in and tell you about the book I bought last week and subsequently fell in LOVE with. BFF love. 4-EVA.



Truly, I've already started a list of who's getting which projects for Christmas. Lemme just say, I know a couple of gals who are really going to enjoy their Peace Fleece Classic Wool Socks! Am I right Lea? Nin?

Swapa Swapa Swapa

Links and Buttons and Icons, Oh MY!!

You may have noticed the new buttons I've added to the left. If you do nothing else today, click on at least ONE of them!!!

I'm pretty new to SwapStyle, but from all the buzz I've heard, it's lookin' as good as it sounds!

The Swapa-sites (paperback, cd, dvd) are all sister sites that I've belonged to for a while now -- SwapaDVD is the newest one. I cannot say enough good things about these sites! I've gotten so many great books, cd's, dvd's -- from The Kite Runner and The Curious Incident of the Dog In the Night-Time to KT Tunstall and Gwen Stefani, and even Freaky Friday, Talladega Nights, Almost Famous, The Best of Percy, and a Yoga dvd I'm going to try out later today. I know I've mentioned the Swapa-sites before, but now that the GREEN MOVEMENT is catching on like, well, Global Warming, I thought why not remind my readers of other different ways to go green??

Stop buying new, stop paying exorbitant retail prices, start removing your footprints on the planet!! Save money, get great stuff, and clean out your clutter all at once!

...and if you've got a few extra minutes, check out some of the books and cd's I've got just waiting to be swapped -- maybe you'll want one, or maybe you'll just enjoy laughing at some of my unfortunate media purchases...

Riddle Me This

If one egg contains two yolks, does that mean it would have been twins???

Got Rice, B&*%h?

I'm writing to tell you that I may not be able to post for a few days -- I've been taken hostage by freerice.com and may never make it out.



It's a website dedicated to both abolishing illiteracy (or not) and World Hunger -- all at once! And it's FREE!!!



The site flashes vocab words, and every time you click on the right definition, they donate 10 grains of rice through the United Nations World Food Program.



Originally I went there to "do my share" (insert eye roll here), and got hooked by the vocab lesson. Trust me, stop by for a minute or two and you'll find yourself saying, "Just one more..."

Next we'll be singing Kumbaya around the fire...

Make a free ecard!

Wanna share the love this Christmas? Check out these cool sites we used to send ecards, adopt a wildlife animal, and help people across the world.

www.smilebox.com

www.wwf.org -- instead of presents from Mom and Dad, Ry and Jax used the money to adopt an animal!!!

oxfam -- Thanks to smilebox, we were able to save $$ on cards this year, and used the savings to buy a goat for a family in Africa. Who knew???

There are so many more sites that are wonderful to visit this time of year -- Feed the Poor, Save the Children, buynothingchristmas.org....Join us, won't you??

Need a Laugh??

Head over to Mamarella.

Guilt-Free Monday

In my ongoing quest to EVOLVE and become a more serene, stress-free me, I am attempting to relieve myself of some of the guilt I feel on a regular basis. So, I thought I'd list ten things guilting me down right now, and in doing so, will release them from their fleshy cave and lighten my load just a tad.

Wanna join in on the fun? Add your own list in the comments section! (I don't know why I do that to myself. None of you ever comment.)

Here's what I'm feeling guilty about right now:

10. Spending $10 on my credit card at Subway instead of coming home and making a sandwhich myself.

9. Not going to spin class this morning.

8. Convincing Ryan to buy the school's "surprise lunch" today so I wouldn't have to fix her lunch myself. (That one really hurts.)

7. Slapping Jax's hand after he ripped off the drawstring from my sweatshirt.

6. Typing up this list instead of cleaning.

5. Buying shortening for an apple pie instead of trying to find a healthier option.

4. Going up to Ryan's school this morning in ugg boots, shorts, a t-shirt and greasy hair.

3. My thighs. And my butt. And my stomach.

2. Drinking a Full-sugar Dr. Pepper, instead of a diet one. or water. or anything else that's even remotely healthier.

1. Getting to stay at home and write up silly lists like this while my husband toils away at work all day.

Collective breath...annnnddd....out again. Okay. All better.

Just a Taste....

Another Halloween has come and gone, and we've got the video to prove it:

Ryan went as school-girl Elphaba, putting her costume-IQ worlds beyond most of the other kids her age. Jax was Rocket from "Little Einsteins", though according to my mom, he could also have passed as a car....

I was able to pull off Shawn's "Maximus" costume, which then left me needing a costume, so I did the easiest thing I could -- I went as the Man of My Dreams. (Speaking of which, I had the most horrifying nightmare about him last night -- something to do with him and another girl unabashedly thumbing their noses at me from the boudoir. Haunting, indeed.)

Pictures forthcoming, once I find my camera...

The best part of the night was when we went to a Haunted House one neighborhood over, where they'd hoisted the sails on a huge sailboat, posted some "Cap'n Jack" wannabe's, and handed out free beer to all the moms and dads. My kind of trick-or-treating.

Little Woman

Sorry about the absence. Last week took the wind out of my sails and I needed some time to decompress. And disconnect. Seriously-- no computer, no tv. I think I've spent so much time worshipping at the alter of that false idol, I thought it would be harder than it was. But whaddya know -- I ended up waking up to my life, doing a lot of soul searching, and recommitting myself to the important things in life.

Don't get me wrong -- I have dvr, I'm not really missing anything. (Now if I could only figure out a way to get to watch those recorded shows before 10 pm each night...)


It sounds like I've had some sort of lobotomy, I know, so lest you start calling wondering whether or not Zombies really are back and have taken over my body, let me show you what's keeping me uplifted and excited about the everyday details that would normally bore &/or disgust me:



( I got mine for $20!!) EVERYTHING YOU EVER WANTED OR NEEDED TO KNOW ABOUT HOUSEKEEPING IS IN THIS BOOK. If you haven't read it, you need to. Shawn even reads it, though mostly just where it talks about tools and the garage. But still.


Not to mention, almost every cleaning product they suggest you use is a cheap, inexpensive household item, and most of the techniques they use are good for the environment.

I swear, it makes me want to go out and be a Home Ec teacher. Me.


Plus, I get to wear these while I clean:


Ninny bought matching "Domestic Diva's" aprons for me and Ry, and I just scored this one on eBay:









Apparently, I'm the last homemaker in America to discover Jessie Steele. I hear her aprons have been featured on Oprah's Favorite Things (and Desperate Housewives), which explains why I'm out of the loop, seeing as how I am fundamentally against watching her Favorite Things shows. It causes too much envy. I'm jealous enough as it is. The added pressure would be too much.


Anyway, I love love love wearing these, but I know a lot of you aren't as sickeningly 1953 as ! am, so perhaps you'd enjoy something a bit more contemporary, more sarcastic, eh? May we suggest:


Not as sexy, but just as much sass!!

Speaking of ubiquitous emails...

You Know You Grew Up In the 80's if:
1. You've ever ended a sentence with the word SIKE.
2. You can sing the rap to the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and can do the Carlton. ("...chillin' out maxin', relaxin all cool and all shootin some b-ball outside of the school...")
3. You know that 'WOAH' comes from Joey on Blossom
4. If you ever watched 'Fraggle Rock'
5. It was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
6. You wore a ponytail on the side of your head.
7. You got super-excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
8. You made your mom buy one of those clips that would hold your shirt in a knot on the side.
9. You played the game 'MASH'(Mansion, Apartment, Shelter, House)
10. You wore stonewashed Jordache jean jackets and were proud of it.
11. You know the profound meaning of ' WAX ON , WAX OFF' (I still do this when I'm cleaning. Miagi would be so proud.)
12. You wanted to be a Goonie. (I still do, and now so does Ryan.)
13. You ever wore fluorescent clothing. (some of us...head-to-toe)
14. You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off and his cheeks shifted.
15. You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf. (and why she had a closet full of the same dress.)
16. You took lunch boxes to school...and traded Garbage Pailkids in the schoolyard.
17. You remember the CRAZE, then the BANNING of slap bracelets. ( I think I might still have some scars)
18. You still get the urge to say 'NOT' after every sentence. Not.
19. You thought your childhood friends would never leave because you exchanged handmade friendship bracelets.
20. You ever owned a pair of Jelly-Shoes.
21. After you saw Pee-Wee's Big Adventure you kept saying 'I know you are, but what am I?'
22. You remember 'I've fallen and I can't get up'
24. You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates.
25. You have ever played with a Skip-It (I think I might still have the ankle bruises to prove it.)
26. You remember boom boxes and walking around with one on your shoulder like you were all that.
27. You remember watching both Gremlins movies.
28. You thought Doogie Howser/Samantha Micelli were hot. (umhmm, KIRK CAMERON)
29. You remember Alf, the wise-crackin' lil furry brown alien from Melmac.
30. You remember New Kids on the Block when they were cool...and don't even flinch when people refer to them as 'NKOTB'.
31. You knew all the characters names and their life stories on 'Saved By The Bell,' The ORIGINAL class.
32. You know all the words to Bon Jovi - SHOT THROUGH THE HEART.
33. You just sang those words to yourself.
34. You still sing 'We are the World'
35. You tight rolled your jeans.
36. You owned a bannana clip. (and wore it to prom...)
37. You remember 'Where's the Beef?'
38. You used to (and probably still do) say 'What you talkin' 'bout Willis?'
39. You're still singing 'Shot Through the Heart' in your head, aren't you?

Get Your Gal On

About a year ago or so, Mindy over at The Mommy Blog introduced me to Design-Her Gals, and since then it's become one of Ryan's favorite things to do; picking out your gal, dressing her up, dressing her down...she loves it.

A while back I remember Mindy posting about the Gal-to-Gal walk, I even remember mentioning it to a fellow parishioner who is currently fighting Breast Cancer, but I don't remember if I ever mentioned it to you guys, so here it is: go to www.galtogalwalk.org, create your Gal, donate your $3, and let's get walking, people!!

Ryan and I are gonna get our Gals going tonight, which sends shivers anticipation up and down my spine -- last time we "designed", Ryan created herself as a beautiful little black bridesmaid with a poodle. I can't wait to see what she does this time, though judging from her current Hannah Montana obsession, something tells me we'll be seeing boots and a pageboy cap somewhere in the mix.

**OOH, I almost forgot -- it's not just for girls!! They've added men and boys, too!

Halloween Already???

You cannot measure the love we have for my Dad. You just can't.

We've Been Bitten...

...by the CRAFT BUG!!!

While I've been busy here, Ryan's been making all sorts of animals for her clay menagerie.

Once I master my Photoshop Elements, we'll have a lovely stop-motion film for you to view.

*I can hear you all moving to the edge of your seats*

Meanwhile, here's what Jax's been doing between bouts of temper tantrums: Ahh, the joy that is newly opened all-natural organic peanut butter on whole wheat....

Invisible Children

Menana had her 15 minutes of fame last night. Our local cable news station interviewed her and her students on the work they've been doing to support the Invisible Children campaign. I'm so proud of her -- and she looks cute, too! Check it out here, then check out our Invisible Children products at shopchunkyrhino -- you may not want to buy, but someone you know probably will, so send it along!!!

Still can't find my camera...

...but here's my fave pic so far from NYC!!

(You have no idea how much it cracks Shawn up to see his M.I.L. sippin' on a 40)