Another one from Jax

I know these QOTD's are trite, but I've not been too inspired lately. Unless you want to hear me rattle on about screaming tantrums, hitting, kicking walls and slamming doors. Personally, living through it every day is enough for me. No need to hash out the details. So, in lieu of an actual post, and because I'm digging deep to find humorous bits about this boy, here are his latest quotes:

"Mommy, I'm the FART MASTER!!"

"Hey Mom, I'm going to find the poop with my binoculars."

"How come when I poop it makes my butt hot?"

I'm seeing a theme here...smelling it, too.

QOTD

Jaxson, looking at my many many freckles: "Mom, why you got so many polka dots?"

Live from ESPN...

NASCAR is definitely back in season. How am I sure of this fact? As I sit typing this in the living room, I can hear Jax in the next room performing his own one-on-one interviews:

(In loud Dad/Announcer voice) "So, Jimmy, what are you doing?"



(Apparently answering as Jimmie Johnson) "Well, I'm winning 'cause my car is big, my wheels are big, and I smell good, and I eat chicken after my race."



(again, in the Dad/Announcer voice) "So, Earn Earnhardt, what happened?"



(As Dale Jr, aka "Earn Earnhardt") "Well, I got in a crash. I went a little like this, and then a little like that and then CRASH! And Jimmie was doing this, and then woohoo! Jimmie wins!! I really crashed, I don't know what happened."



(announcer voice) "Start your engines, get set, go! Vroom, and Jimmie is in the lead, and OH NO, Earn Earnhardt is crashing, and now Jimmie is in the crash, and Jimmie wins!"



"What happened Jimmie, buddy?" Jimmie: "Well, I was in the crash"



And then the loop starts all over again... P.S. In Jax's head, Jimmie Johnson is GOD.

Apple. Tree.

Today's been "one of those days" with Jaxson. He's ornery to a fault, stubborn beyond anything I've ever seen, and when he's forced to go against his will, extensive damage is done to his lungs, our ears, his fists, and any surface strong enough to withstand his blows.

Shawn was grumbling about him this morning, which only made me giggle, because it's days like this that he reminds me of his Daddy the most...

HOPE Springs Eternal...

In honor of the resurgence of HOPE, I've decided to come out from hiding. It's a new start; we've seen the dark before the dawn, and now's the time to sprout anew. Or something a little less corny, but no less meaningful...

I haven't written in a while because I didn't really have anything to say. Also, my time is no longer really mine, and any time I try to "steal" is taken from my kiddos, and that's not what I want for them. So I'll try to post as often as possible, when I have some "Mommy Time" on my hands, not just in an effort to vent or delight, but also because I didn't realize how many people have missed me. I may not have thousands of readers (Thank God!!), but the ones I have I cherish, and I want you to know that!

A quick update to satisfy curiosity:

Shawn is at a new restaurant now -- same company -- and he is flourishing. He works hard, but now his work is geared toward us -- toward canceling the non-essentials and making room for me and the kids. It's been fun to watch.

Jax has grown so much since this summer. We've been listening to him and validating him and through that effort have found ways to communicate and grow that we were beginning to doubt were possible. His tantrums have cooled, but his enthusiasm for life keeps growing -- and we are so grateful for that!

Ryan has been working hard at school and on the gymnastics team, and every day she gets stronger, smarter, and more beautiful. She's also got some brass balls on her and a mouth to go with 'em, but I'm not complaining -- hopefully she'll eventually use those traits to battle evil rather than Mommy.

I'm the same, but different -- trying to let go of my demons, and slowly but surely they are disappearing. I'm growing more thankful every day for the trials that come our way, because I know they are there to make us better, and that they will pass once they've accomplished their mission. I'm reading and cooking, playing and sleeping and trying to keep my butt from getting bigger.

That's pretty much it -- see why I haven't written lately?? I hope I haven't left some of you deflated, although I'm pretty sure I've managed to set the bar low enough in the past that maybe you'll just be mildly bummed.

Before I sign off, let me say: NO MORE LURKING!! Talk to me: comment, email or call. Part of the reason I haven't felt inspired to write is because I haven't felt a sense of community with all of you out there. I want to know how you're doing, what you're feeling, and if and how I can be of service to you. It's a new day, peeps, a Happy, Happy Day!!!

Sick. Again.

It's been awhile since Ry was in daycare, or preschool for that matter. Years ago, I was used to warding off new germs she'd bring home, and although it sucked when she was a baby and always sick, I clung to the doctor's assurances that her being sick as a baby would mean she wouldn't be getting sick as much when she started school. True, true.

I forgot about Jax. No daycare, but he plays an awful lot in the nursery at church and at the gym, and he does have 2 days of pre-school a week. So I guess I shouldn't be surprised that now he and I are sick almost every other week.

He was suffering from a terrible cough and cold earlier last week, and sure enough, come Friday evening, I was suffering the same fate. There are just some things that washing hands can't prevent. Like when Jax sneezes in my mouth "accidentally", or the fact that when he's sick all he wants to do is climb up on me and have me smother him with kisses. Being the loving, nurturing soul that I am, I'm happy to oblige. Until I get sick, and then it's "Get away from me you little monster, mommy needs ALONE TIME!"

I missed going to Shah's wedding-shower-slumber-party, which I was so looking forward to. (Believe it or not, I don't get invited to that many slumber parties these days.)

Ryan was ecstatic, of course, seeing as how she'd begun laying on the guilt early Saturday morning, crying violently everytime I mentioned leaving, and apparently Shawn was thrilled to have me home as well: He took the kids out for dinner so I could sleep, slept with Jax so I could sleep, took them to church so I could sleep, and even made me some Chamomile tea.

All things considered, it was a decent weekend, but one that was completely governed by germs, cough and phlegm. Thank you sir, I've had enough.

I was prepared to regale you all with hilarious tidbits from my Girls' Weekend, but seeing as how I wasn't there, I'll just leave you with some funny, if old, video.

This is their version of a "Camp Rock" singalong from earlier this summer. If only Disney knew what they're missing...

Wurstfest 2008

And this is just the g-rated fun we had. Too bad you'll never see the clip of me swinging my arms and yelling/singing, "I LOVE TO POLKA!" I'm saving that for a special night with my special man, if ya know what I mean (and I think ya do).

Gray skies are gonna clear up...

Sleeping with the Enemy

I have something to confess. I've been sleeping with another man, and Shawn knows all about it.


He's a short, stocky sort, prone to fits of rage followed by smothering hugs and kisses.


My baby.


I admit it, I lay down with him and "sleep" him to sleep. I know I'm prolonging the inevitable, but I don't care. A stitch in time saves nine, and all that. What's 15 minutes of extra Mommy time lost if it means not constantly having to walk him back to his room every 15 minutes for the next two hours?

Not to mention, what warm-blooded, uterus-carrying woman wouldn't indulge in extra snuggle time with her special little guy? The way he covers my face with his hand, or tells me to stop singing when I try to soothe him with a lullaby... You can't find that kind of quality pillow time just anywhere.

Except, in my case, if you were to walk down the hall and jump into bed with his dad. I can't tell you the number of times I've woken up with Shawn's hand on my face. Actually, not so much his hand, as the pillow he's holding in it.

I guess it's more my breathing he minds than my singing. Either way, I'm a lucky, lucky girl.

Finally, First Grade!

Well well. First day of school started without a hitch -- Ry was up early, bright & shiny, chatting away as I desperately tried to figure out a way to get her to hurry up without actually rushing her and stressing her out. I'm gonna save that for the second day of school.

She helped me with her lunch, then packed her toothbrush, hairbrush, and new barrettes, and we went next door so she and Emma could "get ready" together. They've been talking about it for weeks, and bless her heart, I know it must be 100 times more exciting for Ry than for Emma, but they had a great time, all smiles, and as they were pulling out of Elisa's drive, Ryan was brimming with joy.

Probably because she didn't have to have her MOM take her to school (so embarrassing). She specifically requested last night that we no longer walk her in the doors, not that we did that very much last year, but for the first day...well, no longer. She is officially "BIG", and that has left me in tears.

I've been waiting for this day so things could calm down a bit, and even though I detest neediness, I kind of wish she wanted me a little more, even when other more attractive options are present. But you reap what you sow, and so I will just be pleased that at least now I don't have to break up 600 fights today, that I can actully hold Jax without fear that she'll want to be picked up as well, and that the volume at home will be under airport decimal range.

If I could only get Jax to stop begging me to put his diaper back on, I'd be one step closer to solving World Peace. All in good time....

Fun for Young and Old

I'm not sure the video will even be viewable. My computer can't play any videos, audio, or any other media file, so my hopes are not very high for its uploadability.

Let me know if it works!

Number 7

This morning as Shawn and I were trying to grasp a few extra minutes of alone time, we heard Jax scream, stomp up the stairs, and scream again.

"Whose I idea was Jax?" I mumbled.

Then, as if in answer, we heard Ryan scream, chasing Jax down the stairs.

"I don't know," Shawn said,"but I think we know who made him that way."

Does the 7- year-itch apply to your children as well?

Happy Anniversary, Baby!!

Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler!!!

Mother of God, Shah is getting married. Going about it in the only way fitting -- friends with the guy, start dating one month ago, and now they're planning on a January wedding. This is just one of the thousands of reasons I love her, as is her queer ability to find similarities in completely opposite items of clothing. She's famously quoted as saying, "I have a shirt just like that, except it's long-sleeved and has stripes instead of polka dots and is open in the back." And in the very next breath, she will give a painfully detailed matter-of-fact explanation as to why she can't eat green leafy items on Tuesdays, due to her shellfish and strawberry allergies. Or something to that effect.


So even though I've never met, spoken with, or even seen a picture of this "John", I'm more than certain that he must be FIERCE if he was able to snag that crazy coonass.




Let's pass a time, bebe!

Fool's Gold

I'm not sure which is funnier -- Jax dancing to Dave Matthews Band "Listener Supported" like a mini bongo-wielding McConaughey, or Ryan replying "Thank you!" to Dave's "Y'all smell good this evening" comment to the crowd.

Basically, Shawn's been working the last two nights and we're clearly going into withdrawl.

Checking In

From the 4th of July to a week alone with Jax, my days have been full and I haven't been able to get on to tell you all the wonderful stories that you've been missing. Plus, my horoscope for the month says I need to chill and just relax, so who am I to argue with the Zodiac???

Anyway, the 4th was spent at the lake where we outdid ourselves decorating the golf cart for this year's parade, which the kids thoroughly enjoyed being a part of, but even better than that -- Shawn was there!! This is the first time in I-don't-know-how-many years that he's been able to take off for the 4th, so the celebration was as much in honor of his independence as the US of A's.

I've got to get ready for my annual check-up now, or else I'd write about all the excitement we had surrounding fireworks and the 5th of July. Patience, children. The story will come.

Anyway, Ryan stayed with my folks this week while she took tennis lessons from one of Menana's old students. Apparently she's become the social secretary of Horseshoe Bay, scheduling dinners and tea parties, hob-knobbing with the cream of the crop, and keeping everyone on their toes. She oversaw the hatching of 2 baby birds and became a vegetarian for a few hours (until she learned that chicken tenders were banned).

Jax and I have spent the week together playing, napping, baking, and cleaning up one mess after another. We're very ready to get our girl back, although I think she's more excited about seeing her friends than seeing us, especially after the conversation we had yesterday:

Ryan: Did you clean my room?

Me: Uh, NO.

Ryan: Is it still messy?

Me: Uh, YES.

Ryan: Do you think you could take care of that for me?

Me: Uh, NO.

Ryan: Am I gonna have to do it when I get home?

Me: Uh, YES.

Ryan: hmmpphh!

Good times, good times.

Anyway, we were supposed to be heading to Corpus this weekend, but Shawn's been working non-stop since the holiday and is feeling inder the weather so we're forgoing the beach to hang around the house and just be chill.

Wish us luck with that.

Trail's End

Yesterday my friend Jill and I took the kids to Trail's End Equestrian Center in Leander to feed the horses there. It's owned by our Psycho Spin Instructor Ben and his wife Kerri, and we've been talking about going for months now, but as is usually the case, one thing or another always comes up -- until now!



Their ranch is amazing -- set deep in a canyon in the hill country, just 20 minutes from our house, the view is spectactular, the horses were gorgeous, and my resolve to live on some real expanse of land and own a horse was definitely reinforced.



They use the Parelli method of training the horses and use no saddles, reins, or anything. You can totally tell how calm and gentle they are with the horses, especially as Jax was spinning and running and yelling and jumping, even grabbing a tail or two, and not one kick or whinny did he receive. Those horses could teach Ryan a thing or two about ignoring her brother...


Here's Crazy Ben, who though surely mentally imbalanced when it comes to spinning, is actually quite tame and normal when his horses are around.


This is him playing and doing tricks with two of the horses -- they climb stairs, play with exercise balls, run figure eights -- all without him touching or talking to them. He just uses his body to signal what he wants them to and they DO IT! (**Note to self: must find Parelli training method for children...)



The kids were so excited, and had such a good time, that it took massive effort on our parts to get them back in the cars, but seeing as how Crazy Ben was about to start building the foundation for a hay barn, we thought it best to get out of the way before he put us to work. You never know with that one.


And this? Well this is just a pic of Ryan Bingham from his show a couple of weeks ago. Just thought you might like to see it. You can thank me later.

Teaching what matters

Yesterday, in a valiant effort to fight boredom, Ryan decided to set up a stand to sell her stuffed animals. She made a sign that read like this:

Anamul stor

ownd by
Ryan York

I helped her drag out a table, and off she went, lugging 8 stuffed animals behind her, into the ridiculously hot 3 pm Texas afternoon.

Five minutes later, she walked back in the house carrying her animals, lower lip dragging on the floor.

"What happened?" I asked.

"No one came. Stupid stuffed animals."


What a relief to see the amazing job I've done of instilling in her the virtues of impatience and blame. We wouldn't want her to be too well-developed, now would we? Got to give the other kids a chance and all that.

Even more encouraging was the conversation we had earlier this morning. Ryan had seen a mosquito and mentioned wanting to shoot all the mosquitos with a gun.

"That's a bit much, huh? Guns aren't funny. They take people's lives, and who's in charge of ending people's lives? "

"You?"

And don't you forget it....

Who's Your Daddy?

I really was just a carrier, wasn't I?

All Dressed Up...

Hohum...Just getting all the finishing touches ready for the "theatre camp" I'm holding here this week. I'm really quite excited about it -- I haven't pulled some of this theatre stuff out in years. But now, I'm on this excited, anticipatory high, and I've got nothing left to do but log on and finally update the internets on what's been happening in our world as of late... (hang on, I may need to chug one more Macha Frappaccino before I go any further)

Last week was pretty decent -- Ryan was at Camp Doublecreek most of the time, while Jax and I took turns alternating between swimming at the pool and watching old school Scooby-Doo. He also spent two days at Kids Day Out, where he was hailed as "hysterical" and "so much fun."

Well sure, when, you surround him with other kids his age and tons of fun stuff to do...

Anyway, Saturday and Sunday were spent at the lake, where Jax is still residing until Friday afternoon at 12:30.

That's when we'll be performing our camp circus, so I might as well let him come -- he can be all "hysterical" and stuff. People will think we planned it. It'll be a hit.

02:14:32

I DID IT!! Not as fast as I would have liked, but that's what happens when you don't train hard enough, and then take a nasty spill on the bike course. I'm not at all surprised, what with my turbulent relationship with bikes and all. What? You've not heard the many hilarious stories of me falling off a bike? Well...

First, when I was about 5 0r 6, I received a boy's bike as a hand-me-down, and LOVED it. Until I took a major blow to the crotch, experiencing pain no little girl should ever have to experience.

Then there was the time I was "running away" on my 10 speed at the age of 10 or 11, got a bee in my hair, and in an attempt to shake it out, ate the road instead.

Then there was the time when, just minutes after having learned that Big Daddy had had his 3rd heart attack while at college, I went riding with my friend Brad and bit it on a downhill curve on the busiest road at SWT. Not at all embarassing.

So was I surprised that I crashed yesterday, taking a chunk out of my elbow, skinning my hip bone and ripping open the skin on my knee? Huh. I expected nothing less.

Anyway, here are a few pics from the big day:

One of those yellow caps is me!

Showing off my war wounds halfwy through the run (the pic does not do them justice!!)

And, finally, Big Booty Judy in all her glory, getting ready to cross the finish line.

Woohoo!! And just because I'm sooo happy to have this over with, I'm going to leave you with an OT, but very cute pic of Jax from the pool -- he sported that Alfalfa look the whole time we were swimming -- priceless!

HAVE A GREAT DAY!!!!