Friday, November 23, 2007

Gobble Gobble

Happy Thanksgiving Y'all! We, as usual, had the most dysfunctional fun our little family is capable of having. Let's just jump right in...

We were ambushed Wednesday night by a woman claiming she was trying to get the word out about her carpet cleaning company, and would we like her to clean a room for free in exchange for word of mouth?? Well...sure, why not? (Do you have anything that will get up dried eggs?)

Suckers. She sent in her "guy" who then proceeded to spend an hour trying to sell Shawn a $1500 vacuum cleaner.

(Note to lying vacuum salesmen: If someone accepts a free room carpet cleaning at 6 pm the night before Thanksgiving, they probably can't afford to buy a $1500 vacuum. Just a clue.)

I sweetly weaved my way through that one, channeling my inner Brenda/Tami and using my best Texas drawl to explain to the (lovely, I'm sure) salesman that Daddy works every single day of the week, and that we would actually enjoy spending time with him, so you could you please pack up all your "look-how-dirtyYOUR-vac-leaves-your-carpet" materials and get the hell out?

And he did. More on this later. I'm not done with Kirby Cleaning Services just yet -- BBB here I come!! (Oh, and that super-duty top of the line wet/dry vac? Didn't even come close to cleaning the egg stain, which is unfortunate for them.Might have changed the whole outcome of that visit...)

Anyway, that ordeal ended, Ninny arrived and we all had fun eating, laughing, playing and finally, sleeping.

And then. AND THEN....TURKEY DAY!!!!

That's right, MY National Holiday, to celebrate what a ginormous turkey I am!!

What? No parents or grandparents here for Thanksgiving? No prob, I'll take care of everything!

Let's see...pecan pie, 4 layer pumpkin cake, crispy-topped creamed spinach, cheesy corn bake,crust-topped broccoli and cheese casserole, sweet potato casserole, 2 kinds of cranberry sauce and hmmm.....what am I missing????

What's that? A Turkey? Well slap my mouth and call me Fred! Why didn't anyone mention a turkey?? Off to HEB!!

But not before I fix everyone Baked Apple Pancakes. Note to self: when grabbing handle of skillet that has spent 30 minutes in 425 degree oven, it's best to wear protective gear.

Yep, I pulled a big ole Johnny Tremain, and now my left hand is burnt and mangled. Not really, but there will be a nice little scar. Thank God for next-door neighbors bearing bottles of aloe...

Eventually we make it to the big meal , which everyone gobbles down. Except for Ryan, who was heard mumbling "gross" and "blecch" and "do I have to eat this???" and Jax, who just threw himself on the ground and went off on one of his classic Jax-Attacks. It really made me thankful for Prozac.

What else can be said? The Cowboys won, no one watched the parade, and Shawn and Ninny had a "smell my feet" war. Pretty much on par with every other holiday...

Shawn went back to work Friday, the kids and I went insane, and Ninny saved the day with bags of new clothes she bought the kids during the circus they call "Black Friday".

We pulled out a few Christmas items, read some books, put out some decor, and now I'm staring down the barrel of a day of cleaning and decorating with no escape plan for the kids (No Daddy, rain all day)...should be a lot of fun!

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