Tonight was Family Night at the York House. Breakfast for dinner, and a movie to boot. We searched HBO on Demand, and decided on "The Prince of Egypt". Yep, the leader of the Jews and Pigs in a Blanket -- the best of both worlds.
Anyway, we were actually pretty excited to watch it; Ryan had just recently learned the story of Moses at preschool, and it was one that has held her attention for longer than 30 minutes, so we were more than happy to supplement the lesson, Disney-style.
The only problem is, the kid likes to ask questions. Lot and lots of questions. Questions of specificity and details so minute that in times like these (aka:when talking about biblical stories) I generally defer to Shawn, oh Private School Punk that he is. It's not that I didn't have a very long, thorough bible-based education, it's just that when it's between me and the Bible Bowl champion of 89,90 and 91, I usually tend to lose.
Apparently, all the BBQ smoke must have clouded his brain, because there turned out to be a lot of questions he couldn't answer, like, when Moses left Egypt, who took care of his sheep? Ummm....
So I did what any good Catholic would do in a time like this, I referred her to her Godparents, Lalo and Jeff, who conveniently weren't at home. On to Plan B.
Once the movie had ended and some of the questions were still unanswered, Ryan and I headed up to her room to read from Exodus on the matter. We got about to the part where Moses is discovered by the Pharoah's daughter and his sister offers to fetch the mother to feed him when all hell broke loose (pardon the pun).
"Why did the mom have to feed him? Didn't the Pharaoh's daughter have food?"
"Yes, but when mommies have babies, they produce milk in their breasts (cringing now just as I did when I said it, btw) for the babies to drink." *wince*
*Can literally see the wheels just a-turnin'* "Well how does the baby get the milk from the mommy's boobs?"
Sweet Jesus. "You know, the baby sucks it out of the boob, Ry."
(Clutching at her non-existent bosom)"Oh My GAHH!! They suck it out of them? How does it get in there in the first place? Does someone put it in?"
"No, when the Mommy is pregnant, her body just sort of produces and stores the milk for the baby to drink."
"Oh, I see. The Mommy has to get the milk or the baby will die. But, did Jax suck on your boob?"
Oh God. "No, and neither did you. You didn't like it and I didn't have a lot of milk anyway, so you guys both just drank formula, and you survived, you little La Leche Nazi. Now close your eyes and go to sleep."
"Mom? What's a Nazi?"
Moses, Boobies, and the Third Reich. Who knew?