Who needs a family vacation in order to have fun in the car when your kid's pre-school is half an hour away??? Just an example of the rollercoaster ride we take every morning, today was no different than normal:
The coffee pot broke last night (AAAGGGHHHH), and since I was up with both kids throughout the night, I was in desperate need of a caffeine fix this morning. Shuffling the kids off to the car as fast as I could, I took off (sans bra or wedding ring) for the local drive-thru Starbucks, literally itching for a drink. The whole way there, Ryan was darting me with questions: Are we going to school today? Why are we going this way? How did you break the coffee pot? Why do you need cofee? How? Why? Why? How?
That 5 minute drive alone was enough to drive me mad, which was apparently quite obvious to Ryan, because the minute we pulled up to the order window, she rolled down her window and screamed, "MOMMY BROKE THE COFFE POT AND NEEDS COFFE NOW!!!!!". (Apparently, this must happen to a lot of moms, because the drive-thru chick didn't even bat an eye.)
Once I had my Venti Caramel Macchiato in hand, we were off towards school, a fact which Ryan required confirmation of at least a dozen times. Finally, at the point of breaking, I suggested she chew some gum, only she couldn't let Jax see it, or he would be begging for some as well, which would kind of defeat the purpose. Against every teacher fiber in body, I proceeded to teach Ryan my own special technique of sneaking gum.
"Just start coughing, Ry, and when you bring your hands up to cover your mouth, slip the gum in."
This took 15 minutes to accomplish, what with her repeated questioning of my technique, her need to understand why we were sneaking gum, and her numerous failed attempts,but she was finally successful, much to the chagrin of her future teachers, I'm sure. My bad.
10 more minutes left in our car trip, so I decided to enjoy the silence by turning up the radio. Yeah, I'm funny that way. I was listening to my friend Heather's morning show, when the opportunity to win dinner for two at a really great restaurant came up, available to the 5th caller.
I frantically began to dig one-handed through my garbage-bag-masqueraded-as-a-purse, searching for my cell, when all of a sudden from the backseat I hear, "Hi Menana!"
Much to my chagrin (as well as the chagrin of everyone on my speed dial), I have recently taught Ryan how to dial certain family members by simply pushing and holding their assigned number. Since I taught her this last week, I have discovered her making various phone calls throughout the day, hassling my mom and sisters at work, hanging up when they tell her they'll call her back, then picking up the phone to call them again when she hasn't heard from them 5 minutes later. It's hilarious some of the messages I hear her leave: "Ninny, I really need you to call me back, I have something really for real important to tell you." or "Lea, why haven't you called me back? You said you would call me back, but you didn't and I want to know why." We've got a future phone-stalker on our hands, my friends.
Anyway, as soon as I realize that she has called my Mom, I scream, "Ryan! Hang up the phone!! I need to make an important call! I want to win DINNER!!!!" Ryan looks at me as if I have just shot Bambi, at which point I replay what I just said in my head, sink down into my chair, muttering "nevermind", and keep driving.
Needless to say, I did not win the free dinner.
Anyone want to carpool???
Cowboy Pete by The Pioneer Woman
1 day ago